You'd Think Solar Installation Companies Would Work "It's on the House" Into Their Marketing. Or Maybe You Wouldn't, I Don't Know.

 Had that dream again last night. You know the one - you open the hybrid microwave-mailbox to find an envelope so ragged and abused it looks like Marty McFly sent it from fifty years in the past.  You rip it open to find out that the installation of your new solar array is scheduled for this Wednesday, and the state grant came through - the whole install is free!  It goes on to note "make sure the elevator in your house is clear of debris so installers can work safely and quickly" - that's when the dream-panic kicks in: my elevator is a mess!

It'll have to remain a dream for now.  It's not that the glorious photovoltaic array that taunts me while I sleep is too costly - the financial gymnastics that can make it wildly affordable are very much in place and available.  No, I'm merely abiding by the ever-cherished Energy-Efficiency Pyramid.

It was gonna be called the Energy-Efficiency Triangle, but then they thought, come on...

See it?  Yeah, there at the top - Renewable Options.  Damn that's up there.  To express why, let's go through a boring exercise.  Say you currently use 1000 kilowatt-hours per month.  Your monthly electric bill, thus, $200.  In order to completely replace your utility needs with renewable solar, you'll need an 9.4 kW system (assuming the Northeast's average of 3.5 'sunny' hours per day).  Neat, fork over the $60,000 (post-incentives) and it's yours. 

Above, a 10 kW system, in order to show your inability to afford it.

That is, if you're living in Stupidville, population one.  And the one is you.  And you're the mayor.  And for some reason you still campaign during election season.

Picture any pyramid you've ever seen.  No one starts at the top.  Sure, paratroopers, but they were so rare in Ancient Egypt.  The bottom is where it's at.  You take the first step - understanding conservation in general, performing energy audits, using the web as a resource for study and planning.  If you're bipedal, you proceed one foot after the other, ascending Mount Sustainability incrementally, bumping your summer AC up to 77, popping in CFLs where they oughtta be, and caulking the s-word out of your leaky walls.

Different Mario.

There's still a long way to go before you're relying solely on the Big Yellow Dude in the Sky.  The sun, we're talking about. Wait who did you think?

And so I'm somewhere in the middle. Sure I've extended my reach upward here and there, then slid back down to collect some of the lowest-hanging fruit I missed.  It's like when Mario completes a level, but then runs backs and has a coin-collecting fiesta. 

Let's go back to your hometown of Stupidville for a second (btw, you're mayor and sole voter - change the name?).  You only "use" 1000 kilowatt-hours because you haven't yet climbed the EEPyramid.  Picture any number of movies where there's a montage and through a series of physical and spiritual exertions, our main character grows substantively and by the time the montage is over, is a changed person.  Similarly, run up the various steps of the pyramid, and you'll quickly reduce your energy needs.

Wow.  Talk about incontrovertible.

Diminish your dependence on frosty AC and toasty heat?  One-thousand kilowatt-hours suddenly drops to 900.  Kill all your vampire outlets that trickle wattage when devices aren't in use?  900 is now 880.  Ditch the hot water when washing clothes or running the dishwasher?  Down to 825.  Caulk up the leaks, spray insulation where needed - 800.  Now to some heavy hitters - replace the old fridge, hot water heater, or best of all air conditioner?  Watch that 800 fall to 700.  Send your kids to boarding school?  Sweet, merciful five hundred.

Made up numbers, I know.  But if you can cut your electrical use by half, suddenly your cost-prohibitive solar installation becomes not only palatable, but straight-up appropriate.


EDITOR'S NOTE: I tried to 'shop a solar panel under Rocky's arms as he climbed the steps of the art museum.  Evocative image, eh?