Don't say 'happy birthday' or nothing. Ah, yeah, you just remembered, nice. The big 4-0...-0. So what's new the past few centuries? Lemme guess, nothing! Yeah it's like Alphie Karr says, "the more things change, the more they stay the same." Am I right, you guys?
You guys? Alphie Karr? You don't remember Alphie Karr? Hmm. Then you sure as hell don't remember me. Medici Bank mean anything to you? It's like your Wachovia and B of A and Citibank rolled into one. But our banking system was different, we wielded predatory influence over the citizenry and were tightly interwoven into the political power structure... [time-traveling social commentary high-five!]
Tech nut, guilty as charged. I mean tech nut. Guess who I was BFFs with? No really, guess! EHHH, too late! Try Galileo. Yes Galilei! We were like this! I backed him during his stupid trial, heliocentricity, you know the deal. Tried to bail him out afterwards and all; Popester was not having it.
But seriously, my nerd cred was legit. I was rocking a condensation hygrometer before it was cool (is your era still impressed by hygrometers? What am I talking about, you probably pick yours up at 7-11!). Check it:
Before my experiments with the hygrometer, people couldn't
even measure relative atmospheric humidity. Could you imagine??
I'm not here plugging a book. I'm here to remind you that you, the people of a free society, have the power to hold your leaders accountable. Promote the sciences! Demand technological progress! Study hygrometry! These things are important people. It's like George Santayana says, "those who forget history are doomed to repeat it"! Santayana. Come on people! What? No he didn't play Woodstock!
I'm going back to Tuscany. You people are the worst. Probably can't even calculate the humidity of an air-water vapor mix. Noobs.
No comments:
Post a Comment